Do you guys ever get that crippling sensation when life seems so fucking shit and you think about your life so far and what you’ve been told is to come and you think ‘Wow. Life will never be as good as it used to be. It’s just downhill from now on. I’ve got decades ahead of me of life steadily getting shitter.’ Coz I get that sensation quite a lot now I’m officially in my 20s and, I gotta tell you, it really sucks.
We could literally sort out this mess of a meet-up in about 3 minutes if he picked up the phone and called me but he’s babysitting two nightmare kids and apparently isn’t allowed to make any 3-minute calls to aid his hyperventilating girlfriend. Ugh.
So I really really hate it when Dan and I are trying to make plans and it’s super complicated because he lives in the middle of nowhere with no transport except his parents and I’m super super busy at the moment, and we finally come up with a plan and then last minute he texts me to say that it might not work out and I need more information from you, don’t just leave it at that, you’re babysitting so we can’t plan anything but now I’m just lying here stressing out because I don’t know if I’m going to have to spend like 2 hours in a car during rush hour straight from training tomorrow or if I need to phone my sister to call off meeting up or anything and I am out at work literally all day tomorrow but he’s busy tonight so we can’t organise it meaning we are just STUCK unless I stay up really really late until he’s free but then I’m going to be SO tired tomorrow which would REALLY suck if I need to fucking drive all the way to his house from Cambridge during rush hour traffic straight after a full day of carer training. STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS.
Enough training and waiting around, I want to start this new job now. But I have to wait for my DBS check to come through, and that’ll probably happen when I’m on holiday, so I’ll have to wait until mid-August when I get back. I used to think I was a patient person, and I am when it comes to little things like being stuck in traffic, but with big life stuff like this I really cannot handle waiting. I just want to get going to see how it goes, and how it fits into my life, so it can help me make massive decisions like whether to quit work at Anglesey Abbey, whether to get a job at the hospital, whether to volunteer for Eddie’s on top of Headway and Parkinsons UK, and whether to volunteer for CAMTAD on top of all those. I can’t wait over 3 bloody weeks before I can even start to figure that stuff out! And of course I have to go through all the induction observations and stuff before I can actually start work work. Luckily 1 of these limbo weeks will be spent sunning myself in Malta with my boyfriend, and the following one will be spent sunning myself (or hiding under an umbrella) in Cornwall with my family, so with any luck I won’t be worrying about bathing and dressing little old ladies too much.